Hasty Homemade Porridge
Chloe Pickard
Hi, new country homeowner!
When you moved into your beautiful house just outside the forest, did you ignore that odd note in the pantry telling you to leave out an offering every night to keep the neighbours happy?
It’s dark now, and outside things are stirring, chittering. Your car keys are gone. You can’t possibly board up the windows and doors well enough to keep them all out.
Time to make amends.
Note: You must make this recipe from scratch. Are you really going to add further insult with packet mix? Luckily it can be quickly done using basic pantry ingredients.
Ingredients
1 cup rolled oats
1 cup water
1 cup milk
Fruit (whatever happens to be in the fridge will have to do)
Instructions
Pour rolled oats, milk, and water into a saucepan. Try not to think about how while you cannot see what’s outside your windows, your lights mean their merciless eyes can see you.
Bring to boil and simmer for 4-5 minutes. Stir occasionally, making sure that the porridge doesn’t stick to the bottom of the pan. You wouldn’t want to present something unsavoury!
Transfer porridge to the prettiest bowl you have. Don’t spill any, even if your hands are shaking.
Select the most appetising-looking berries and place them on top. Will store-bought fruit be good enough?
Force yourself to half-open the front door and place the bowl outside. Don’t look out into the dark and what might be in it.
Lock the door as soon as you’re back inside. Pray they’re happy now. Pray the horseshoe you left above the door for its ‘rustic charm’ will keep them out. Pray you’ll still be alive to follow this recipe again tomorrow.
About the author:
Chloe Pickard is a speculative fiction writer based in Queensland, Australia. She loves ghosts, folklore, and the weird. Find her at @chloerpickard on Twitter or at https://chloerpickard.wordpress.com/
