Brisket for Cthulhu
Lena Ng
It’s the Day of the Dawning Void and the stars are in perfect alignment. You have been preaching about this day to all of your friends and they have asked if you’ve seen a doctor. But you will have the last laugh when He comes to judge the living and the dead.
Ingredients
Offering of meat: goat or lamb may do, but a person of symbolic significance works best
Anointing oil
Lemon
Holy water (from Sepulchral Sea or equivalent): could create at home using Book of Primeval Divinity, but results may vary
Scarab beetles
Salt and pepper to taste
Directions
Prepare the sacrificial meat by anointing with oil and garnishing with lemon and scarab beetles.
Ignore any pleas for mercy.
Bow thrice in the direction of the Weeping Cavern and bless the meat with holy water from the Sepulchral Sea.
Say the classic prayers (IMPORTANT) from page 9–17 of the Necronomicon. Not saying them in the proper order and with the correct intonation may bring forth a raging fountain of wrath.
Use the sacred dagger to pierce the heart. Collect the heartblood into the chalice and place it on the altar.
Roast the meat in the human-sized smoker, basting it every hour for at least twelve hours. Add salt and pepper to taste.
After laying the meat on the altar, stand out of the way (ALSO IMPORTANT) so the Elder God doesn’t mistake you as part of the feast.
About the author:
Lena Ng shambles around Toronto, Ontario, and is a zombie member of the Horror Writers Association. She has curiosities published in eighty tomes including Amazing Stories and Flame Tree’s Asian Ghost Stories and Weird Horror Stories. Her stories have been performed for podcasts such as Gallery of Curiosities, Utopia Science Fiction, Love Letters to Poe, and Horrifying Tales of Wonder. "Under an Autumn Moon" is her short story collection.
